sometimes syria can be an ass of a country.

sometimes the US can too.

sometimes i like going to school chapel.

...not really.

sometimes i now post on myspace.

i feel shitty

oh so shitty

i feel shitty and pity and gay!

despondant in my incomleteness

completly incompetent in every way. 

Chairity is pointless without justice,
the man behind the pen writes.
He writes down notes on social conflict and
sunamis in summatra.
He analyzes and pontificates on the AID which does not go to
AIDS on a day to day fight,
yet awake is the world in the midst of this fright.
It could have happend in San Lois Obisbo...
"It could have happend to Christians you know."
But all tradgedies are inherently linked he argues against
the pastor which says these things.
all my life i have been waiting to jump in,
off a helocopter
into the arms of accepting masses
already educated in the ways of the waves.
There are those others who die in the same numbers
150,000 a day because of HIVAIDS,
and the pastors remain ignorant because they are.
It is hard to help the helpless.
and yet i will try to educate those who hold the power to do so.
It is hard to help the helpless,
yet it is even harder to convince some that they are the ones needing help to learn how to help.
It is hard to battle sunnamis and *shhh* (we need to wisper this word) 'AIDS'
mostly because those with the means lack the foresight to determin the end of poverty
the end of disease
the end of needing to spend more time on our backs than down on our knees
for our brothers and sisters and mothers and friends and stangers and enimies.
It is hard to help.
It is hard to help but feel giddy when i think of these things and
It is hard to help my bursts of laughter when i hear preachers preaching compassion and the vengance of God in the same breath.
inhale contradiction
exhale anihilation
all for the Glory of an unprovable question.

I would rather give justice than charity.
I would rather help the helpless than pay a tithe.
I would rather take a wider perspective on human sorrow that i may be more able.

Currently Playing Spiritual Machines By Our Lady Peace see related

We know of an ancient radiation
That haunts dismembered constellations,
A faintly glimmering radio station.
While Frank Sinatra sings Stormy Weather,
The flies and spiders get along together,
Cobwebs fall on an old skipping record.

Beyond the suns that guard this roof,
Beyond your flowers of flaming truths,
Beyond your latest ad campaigns,
An old man sits collecting stamps
In a room all filled with Chinese lamps.
He saves what others throw away.
He says that he'll be rich some day.

We know of an ancient radiation
That haunts dismembered constellations,
A faintly glimmering radio station.

We know of an ancient radiation
That haunts dismembered constellations,
A faintly glimmering radio station.
While Frank Sinatra sings Stormy Weather,
The flies and spiders get along together,
Cobwebs fall on an old skipping record.

Currently Playing Fashion Nugget By Cake Frank Sinatra see related

START LEVEL ONE

here i am writing the last paper of the semester with anxiety of the future getting closer all the time. Near term and long term, i know that I dont really get a break. *life gets drained* I must continue harder and longer...i dont think ill ever get a break. school ends tomorrow, but the rest of my vacation will be absorbed by a consortium of time fillers. *life gets drained* work. application. work. girlfriend. shopping. work. driving. christmasing. Application. The monster is gaining on me. all i want to do is get the secret password to the next level.

 *bam* "I'M DEAD". play again.

START LEVEL TWO

and im still here on this burning hot laptop thats been on all day long. wrist hurting and eyes bleeding. i dont think ill ever be done with this last paper that just here to tempt me over the edge of my clifts of insanity. *life gets drained* Iocain power in front of me, but i dont know it. inconcievably i drink from my glass to move on and beat the thing that has been beating back me and my men, trying to rescue the princess of my intollerable sin. But as i laugh, my lights go dim and i slip into oblivion. *life gets drained* laughing.

 *bam* "I'M DEAD". play again.

START LEVEL THREE

like a cat rounding in circles being chased by a dog, i stand here. head spinning in the could be s the hope-fulls and the we'll sees. *life gets drained* all i need is one of those little mushrooms to make me grow big and strong - i could take on everything wrong in this world. all the pain, i could jump on and quish into pieces - i could take world hunger put it in my pocket, refusing to let it catch any air to breath. *turbo speed ON* soallofasuddenitsasifmybrainisinoverdrive,notlettingtheworldinonmylittlesecretsofobservation. itssillyiknow,butsomhowican'tstopmyheadfromactinginwaysthatseemtodefygravity.thepoisonsometimes leachesintome.mymommysaysitsok.butirefusetobelievelies.andallihavetorelyonismyselfintimesoftrouble... *turbo speed OFF* I only believe truth when its convieniently placed in my pocket complimenting atrocity.*jumps into bitting flower*

 *bam* "I'M DEAD. play again.

BEGIN BOSS LEVEL

Sometimes when i sign online i dont want to talk to anyone. i just want to watch the little doors next to people's names open and close and their names fade into away messages. . . . i like feeling watched too. i know that they all see me there ready to pounce on them if i wanted to. im like a shark or a baracudda lurking in the corner...or maybe im just a lonely guy with some disease who is waiting to infect the entire fucking city. wheeee! and thats what they all think.*life gets drained*  thats what they all feel. *life gets drained* thats why i have away messages... so i can watch and feel secure without being seen as a wallflower without any pedals.

*BOSS LEVEL COMPLETE* START SECRET LEVEL

I need a true-north way to define success in my life. seriously, i dont know the east from the west in the topic.and directions on MapQuest dont seem to help all that much. other people's definitions rarely do. and im sick and tired of evaluating other's perceptions of my cognitive ability. i dont care if you think im brilliant. im not going to let you suck it out of me. there is only so much i can do, and all i know is that it does not include you. so keep your eyes on your own work, lest i tell the teacher. I have a manipulation factor greater than the sum of two parts that are added together. Thus while i am searching for myself, dont be surprised if my tenticals spread themselves in your direction, causing premature ejaculation of spirit. i have been know to crush those. dont be surpised if i stifle your soul... all i want is to find my own. all i want is to know when i please you.*power booster ON* all i want to know is when i am good enough to make you feel good enough to show me that you think im good enough. Your love is all i want. *power booster OFF* sometimes. sometimes i just want you to go away.

 *bam* "YOUR DEAD. play again?